Close to home
by gsrfan1
Summary: Summary: When a case comes too close to home for a CSI, their family life becomes a case that doesn’t want to be solved.Authors note: This story is slightly AU, many things stray from the canon version of the show, if you don’t like that, please don’t
1. The discovery

Title: Close to Home

Author: Gsrfan

Rating: PG 13

Spoilers: PNN, LHB, IE

Sara centred fic with healthy doses of G/S

Summary: When a case comes too close to home for a CSI, their family life becomes a case that doesn't want to be solved.

Authors note: This story is slightly AU, many things stray from the canon version of the show, if you don't like that, please don't go any further. All reviews are welcome.

Chapter one: The discovery

Sara followed Grissom up the stairs in silence, it had been weeks since he'd said something non-case related to her, and that was only to ask her to pass the milk, their relationship, or lack of was at an all time low. Sara put these thoughts aside as they approached the door knowing Grissom wouldn't approve of her musings.

"Oh god!" Sara's voice echoed in the room as they entered to see a man lying on the floor in a pool of blood, with his eyes closed in the image of sleep.

Pushing her out of the room Grissom started the speech he had given her a thousand times, "Sara, don't do this….."

'**Wow, four words in a row, must be a new record for him'** Sara thought bitterly

"Griss" she stopped him "please don't give me the 'you can't get emotional speech' again, I practically have it memorised, I didn't say 'oh god' for that reason"

"Oh," he said confused "then why?"

"I know him… not well, but I know him" Sara said so quietly he could barely hear her "God, his parents are going to be devastated" she sighed

"They always are" Grissom said turning to face the scene

"No, trust me, this is going to be unbearable, he's been in trouble before but they've always bailed him out, literally. The last time I remember it was for a DUI but it must've gotten worse, he promised he was going to straighten his life out, I guess he didn't get round to it like so many other things."

Grissom looked at Sara in wonder, she very rarely talked about her life, and now she was telling him personal things as though it was nothing.

'**Don't take it to heart Gil, she probably thinks she should do it for the case' **Grissom said, bursting his own bubble.

"I guess you got to take me off the case then" Sara said matter of factly

Grissom was shocked by this, she never wanted to be off a case and now she was volunteering.

"I think you can handle it, I mean you've shown no reason for me to take you off it, sure, you know him but you're experienced enough to get through this"

Sara blushed at the compliment, suddenly feeling guilty about feeling that way when there was a body in the next room.

"I may be able to handle it, but if his parents know I'm on the case, they'll want to know everything and I can't handle that kind of pressure"

"Okay, I'll swap you and Nick over, you can work with Warrick" Grissom said accepting her reasoning

"Hey, you guys coming in here or not, the scene is clear" Brass said from the doorway

"I am" Grissom answered "but Sara knows the victim, so she doesn't want to do it"

"Maybe you can help us then, he has no ID on him, oh and I'm sorry for your loss" Brass said softly

'**God why didn't I say I was sorry, she must think I'm even more insensitive than before'**

"Thanks Brass" she smiled weakly, noticing him take out his note book, she continued "His name is Adam… Adam Sidle"

Brass and Grissom both looked up at her sharply.

"What?" Brass asked as Grissom just stood silent as always

"What?" Sara echoed "I told you I knew him"

"You didn't say he was family" Grissom almost whispered

"How is related to you?" Brass asked, ever the police officer

"He's my cousin, my father's brother's son," she explained "his parents live in Vegas, I don't know where exactly, _he_ lives wherever people will let him, last I knew he didn't have a steady job and he was battling with a serious drink and gambling problem, he's in the system, DUI mostly, but with his friends who knows what else"

"Thanks Sara, this'll be really helpful" Brass thanked her

"Just doing my job" she replied modestly

"Investigating your cousins murder should never have to be your job" Grissom sighed, avoiding eye contact so she couldn't see how upset he was for her.

'**Wow, is he whimsical today' **Sara thought **'what's gotten in to him?'**

"Like I said, I didn't know him well; my family isn't exactly the Brady bunch, I mean, I haven't spoken to my parents since I moved here, but that's a different story" she added as Grissom looked at her questioningly. "Hey Brass, do me a favour, when you tell his parents, give them my number, let them know they can call me."

"Sure, well I better go" Brass said walking down the corridor

"Better let you go in there" Sara said looking towards the room, "I'll see you at the lab"

"Okay" Grissom said, entering the room, but turning around before she was gone, "hey Sara" he called "I'm sorry you had to go through this, "

"Thanks" she smiled before walking away with a heavy heart.

'**This is too close to home'** she sighed


	2. Condolenses and reunions

Chapter 2 – condolences and reunions 

Sara returned to the lab with the weight of the world on her shoulders, she was trying not to let it get her down, but it was too heavy for her.

She had been avoiding talking to her family for so long but now this had happened she wouldn't be able to, sure she was sorry that her cousin was dead, but it had but her in an uncomfortable position.

"Hey Sara" Nick called as he approached her putting his arm around her "I heard about your cousin from Grissom, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

"Sure, thanks for asking, I guess everyone else knows" she questioned

"Yeh, afraid so, they're in the break room, you gonna go in?"

Without a word she nodded and followed him, conscious of the stares she was getting,

'**These guys seriously need lives if this is interesting to them'**

After everyone had shared their condolences and asked her countless times if she was okay, she sat with a cup of coffee and listened to Grissom give out the assignments, she had a body in a sealed room with no apparent exit.

'**Good, a challenge, to help take my mind of things'** she smiled by way of thanks to Grissom, who she was sure, gave it to her for that reason.

"Well, that's everything" Grissom finished "let's go"

Sara lagged slightly behind as they left the room, she didn't have her normal energy on this day.

"Sara?" a familiar voice reached her from the reception desk, Grissom turned to see who was calling her and saw her squint her eyes as though in pain, and clench her fist as though preparing herself for a fight. Despite giving them her number she had never expected to see them.

"Marie" she said turning around, hoping the dread was not evident in her voice.

'**Thank god the others are gone; oh no, why is he still here'** she thought as she saw Grissom lurking by the wall

She walked up slowly to the women whose face was tear stricken and stopped without a word, stepping back slightly as the woman embraced her.

'**God, I can't do this'**

"Where's Tom?" Sara asked trying to sound compassionate

"He's with the detective; I think his name is Brass. Oh god Sara, how did this happen to our boy" she said tears starting again

"I don't know, but I promise, the CSI's on the case will do everything they can to find out" Sara reassured her

"You're not on the case?"

"No, conflict of interests" Sara answered

"I see" Marie answered her eyes darting to the figure in the corner.

"I'm sorry" Sara said "this is Gil Grissom, he's working Adam's case, he's the best person for the job"

Grissom walked over to shake the woman's hand, a slight blush in his cheeks at hearing Sara call him the best.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm only sorry about the circumstances" he smiled

"Grissom" Sara began "This is Adam's mother Marie, his father; Tom is in the corner with Brass"

"Grissom?" Marie repeated "so you're the one that stole our Sara away" she finished, sadness still present in her voice despite the attempt at light banter

Grissom looked at Sara in confusion, but she was looking at her Aunt as though telling her 'not now' and cursing herself for saying Grissom's name when she knew it would eventually cause trouble.

'**Stole our Sara away? What's that supposed to mean'** Grissom thought

At that moment the man introduced as Tom approached and similar pleasantries ensued before he led his wife away.

"What?" Sara asked, raising her eyebrow

"I'm sorry?" Grissom questioned

"You have your 'something isn't right look', what is it?" she explained

"I don't have a look" he protested, stopping when he saw the look Sara had, knowing he wouldn't win "I mean no offence to your family but, considering today's events they didn't seem as upset as I would have thought"

Sara smiled at this "they're strong" she explained "besides the Sidle family are experts at suppressing things, I thought you of all people would have figured that out by now"

'**I've been hiding my feelings for you for too long'** she thought

Grissom didn't know what to say to that so he settled for his look that said he understood, even when he didn't, he opened his mouth to speak, but his beeper cut him off.

"Autopsy" he explained.

"See you later" she nodded, heading to find Warrick.

It was the first time Grissom had met any of her family and he could see the resemblance, physically and mentally, he only wondered if they would be as stubborn as Sara. Despite her earlier request to be taken off the case he knew that she would get involved eventually.


	3. Endings and beginnings

Chapter 3 – Endings and Beginnings

"Gil, right on time" Doc Robbins said as Grissom entered the morgue

"Doc, David" he greeted them "What've we got?"

"Blunt force trauma to the back of the head was the cause of death, found some wood fragments in the wound, sent them to Greg. He had bruises on his wrists suggesting a struggle, and cuts on his right hand."

"We found a baseball bat at the scene, it was sealed in a glass case, so we didn't look at it too closely, no apparent signs blood on it, but it could've been wiped clean and put back to fool us, I'll check it again" Grissom added chastising himself for passing by that evidence, he of all people should know to check everything.

'**This case has really got me acting weird'** he sighed

_Adam is watching TV, someone he recognises comes into the room, they start fighting about something, Adam throws a punch, the assailant grabs his wrists, throws him to the floor, Adam is dazed possibly due to alcohol, he can't stand, a baseball bat connects with his skull and he blacks out._

"Has the tox report come back yet?" Grissom asked

"No, I'll page you when I get it"

"Thanks" Grissom said, reaching for his files

"Hey Grissom" David mumbled, "Could you, um, tell Sara that I'm sorry?"

Grissom opened his mouth to say yes, but Sara's voice behind him froze the word on his lips.

'**I knew she couldn't stay away'**

"Thanks David" she smiled, looking at Grissom's less than impressed expression which was only partly due to her being there, the rest was because David got one of _his_ smiles.

'**Like I can still say that, like I could ever say that'**

"Sara, you shouldn't be here and you know it" he said

"I know, I promise this is the only time I'll interfere, look I know I said I didn't know him well, but he _was_ family, I have to say goodbye"

"I don't mean to be insensitive, but you can do that at the funeral"

'**Like she's going to believe that, you've been treating like crap since…. Forever!'**

"No" Sara laughed "that's uh, that's not gonna happen"

"Why?" Grissom asked confused

"Because it'll be a miracle if the arguments stop long enough to get through the service, let alone anything else"

Grissom didn't know how to respond to this, like so many other things she had said today. He knew her family life was strained at times but he had no idea that things had gotten so bad they couldn't be civil.

"Okay" he gave in "but I have to stay"

"I'm aware of lab policy Griss" she said a little harsher than intended, she knew Grissom was just doing his job

Sara approached the table as David and the Doc finished what they were doing and left. Pulling back the sheet she was amazed at how different it felt when you knew the person on the table.

Grissom watched in silence, like so many other times, looking between them he was surprised he hadn't noticed the resemblance before.

"How did you get yourself into this?" he heard her whisper "Goodbye Adam" she sighed as she re-covered him

Grissom wanted to reach out and touch her, to tell her that if she needed anything he was there, but he couldn't find the words and was afraid she'd tell him where to get off. He'd treated her so badly up until now, he wasn't sure she'd appreciate the sudden change.

Sara walked passed him and out of the room without a word as he followed.

"Thank you" she said putting her arms around him, Grissom stiffened slightly at the contact and then loosened up as he realised he'd never get the opportunity again

'**Don't cry, don't cry'** Sara willed herself, normally she could hold it back, but being in his arms she felt so emotional.

After holding the embrace for slightly longer than necessary, Sara pulled away and they both immediately missed the contact.

"Oh shit" Sara breathed looking at her watch

'**Please don't let that be about the hug, if she regrets it, I'll die'**

"Problem?" he asked nervously

"My parent's flight just arrived" she sighed

"Oh" Grissom responded "that's a bad thing?"

Sara inwardly smiled at the naivety of the man before her, he was so smart but when it came to her family, he didn't have a clue.

'**Because you don't let him'** her mind shouted back

"Considering I had to find out from my brother, because they're not speaking to me, yes, it's a bad thing" she said

Grissom started walking up the corridor when it became evident she wasn't going to explain why

'**Should I ask her? What's the worst that could happen?'**

'**She could remind you, you treated her like crap for the past year and you have no right to ask her that'**

'**Did I ask for you input?'** Grissom shouted at his inner voice, deciding to brave it and ask the question

"So, uh" he stammered "what happened… with your parents?"

'**YOU!'** Sara wanted to say, but wasn't comfortable letting him know she had been practically disowned for choosing him and Vegas over them, so she settled for,

"Long story"

Grissom didn't pry, knowing that even though there relationship had experienced a new beginning, he couldn't expect her to tell him everything, even when they were best friends in San Francisco she had kept secrets.

'**God, I miss that'**

"Well, I better go find Warrick again, before he thinks I've run off" Sara said stopping at the door to Grissom's office.

"Okay" Grissom said as he entered, stopping when he realised she hadn't left

"Sara?" he asked

"I uh, I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of my whole family because even though they wont say it themselves, we do appreciate what you're doing"

"Why wouldn't they say it?" Grissom asked, his curiosity peeked

'**Because they blame you for me leaving'** Sara's mind answered

"Because they're very private, I think you can relate to that" she lied, feeling instantly terrible

"Yes I can" Grissom smiled as Sara left, dreading the next few days, not only because she had to bury her cousin but because her entire family was going to be in one place at the same time and that was never a good thing.

"**Please let me get through this'**


	4. Revelations

Chapter 4 – Revelations

Staring across the church yard, Grissom could just make out Sara standing alone, which he thought was unusual, wasn't this a time to be with your family? She was dressed in a simple black skirt and jacket, in other circumstances he would have said she looked beautiful, but now wasn't the time. Sara looked up from the ground as she was joined by a young man who embraced her, jealousy coursed through Grissom, until he realised, he was probably family and he had no reason to be jealous, that and the fact that he didn't have the right to.

As the priest finished, the family dispersed, some talking to him and others heading to their vehicles. Grissom's eyes followed Sara to an elderly member of the group and was shocked at what he saw; Sara was talking to her… with her hands.

'**When did Sara learn sign language? How could I have pushed her that far away not to notice?'**

Despite the distance he could still make out some of it, something about condolences which made sense but then something about a birthday.

'**What's that about?'**

'**Okay I can do this, I'm her friend right'**

'**Yeh in what reality?'**

'**Shut up'**

'**Just walk over and offer support, how hard is that?'**

Walking over to the steadily decreasing group Sara spotted him and Grissom could tell she wasn't happy.

'**Great, I shouldn't have come'**

Grabbing Grissom by the arm she pulled him over to a tree which shielded them from view and swiftly began to interrogate.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she whispered angrily

"I uh came to um; I thought you might uh, "he stammered

"What Grissom?" she said getting tired of waiting

'**Understatement of my life'**

"I thought you might need a friend" he said angrily "guess I was wrong" he finished turning to leave

"Damn" she said flustered grabbing him by the arm, to stop him leaving

"Thank you, I'm sorry I snapped, it would mean a lot if you stayed, if you still want to that is"

'**This is going to be awkward but I need him here, I've got to talk to someone'**

Grissom smiled to say he would stay.

'**Damn that smile, I'd do anything right now, and that suit, my god. How can I think that at a time like this?'**

"Did you talk to your parents" he whispered out of the blue

"I wish" Sara said "since you gave me the time off, I've seen my parents three times, and they've spoken to me approximately 0 of those times"

"I'm sorry" Grissom said touching her shoulder and leaning in to her, "if you need…."

He was cut off by a male voice from his left.

"Sara Alexandria Sidle!! Now is not the time!!" the unknown man bellowed

"What?" Sara questioned looking up to see her grandfather,

'**Oh god, he thought Grissom and I were making out'**

Grissom who was now standing as far away as possible finally understood as well and blushed deeply.

"No, Grandpa, you've got it wrong, this is Gi…." She stopped, revealing his name this early on would only cause trouble, "a friend, he's the criminalist that is helping Adam" she explained

"Oh my, I'm, terribly sorry" her grandfather apologised, "I had no idea, my name is Richard, Sara's grandfather, nice to meet you" he said extending his hand

Grissom took his hand and began to introduce himself, "My name is ……"

"Actually we should probably get going, everyone will be at the house" Sara interrupted.

Grissom stared at Sara wondering what the problem was with him telling people his name, and then he remembered the reaction he had gotten from her aunt.

'**What is going on?'**

"Why don't you wait in the car, Gr…...I'll meet you there and show you the way"

"Okay" he obeyed, walking towards the car.

"See you later Grandpa" she said hugging the older gentleman before walking to the car where Grissom was waiting.

"Take a left here" Sara instructed, not looking at Grissom

"Okay, Sara that's it! What is going on?" Grissom questioned

"I'm directing you to my Aunt's house" Sara said not trying to be smart

"That's not what I mean Sara"

"Well, you'll have to elaborate, because despite your misconception I'm not a mind reader" Sara barked back, upset that she was going have to tell him everything

"Why can't I introduce myself to your family without you stopping me, why won't you say my name around them? Why did your Aunt act strangely around me?"

"Because they hate me" Sara said hoping that was enough

"Sara," Grissom said softly, briefly looking across to her "I don't understand"

Take a right here, wasn't the answer he had expected, but that was what she had said, after a minute of silence, Sara decided enough was enough, if he was going to be subjected to her family, he needed to know.

"Okay, maybe _I _should be the one to elaborate, what I meant to say was, they hate me, since I met you!"

Grissom looked at her so sharply at those words; he almost crashed the carbut managed to straighten up in time to avoid on coming vehicles.

Sara looked up at him and saw the hurt and guilt in his eyes; she had to reassure him it wasn't his fault it was just her parents being stupid.

"Griss, none of this is your fault." She said seeing he wasn't convinced she continued "when you asked me to come here, things were already strained between us because I had chosen Forensics and not the life they had planned for me. When I told them about the job here, they gave me a choice, stay in San Francisco as part of the family or sell out and choose Vegas…. and you" she explained almost whispering the final words

Grissom looked at her then, those last two words burning into his heart,

'**She chose me'**

"To be honest, this isn't really about you, its not you they had a problem with, its Vegas and forensics, they don't think its good enough for me, I tried to convince them otherwise but had no luck, I know that seems like a trivial thing but things were said that can't be taken back,"

"Then why do they blame me?" Grissom said hurt evident in his voice

"Because you come along with the package and to some extent if I'd never met you, I wouldn't be here"

"I'm sorry Sara; I never meant to cause you any trouble"

"Don't you dare apologise" she almost yelled "left here" she added "you are not to blame for their pettiness, I don't regret coming here, or making my choice, look, no matter what happens today, don't take anything they say to heart."

Grissom pulled onto the drive and stopped the engine and turned to face Sara, she could tell he wasn't convinced. She reached over and took his hand, "Grissom, don't let them get to you okay, this is about me, not you"

"Okay," he said releasing her hand and stepping out of the vehicle ready to face the lions.


	5. The past catches up to you in the end

Chapter 5 – the past catches up to you in the end

Entering the house Grissom tensed aware of the stares he was receiving from everyone.

"Don't worry about it, they were like this with every guy I bought home" Sara said attempting to ease his tension but failing

He simply smiled at her weakly and followed her to the kitchen where she made him a cup of coffee as though she had lived their all her life,

'**Guess she must have spent a lot of time here lately'**

During his musings the man he had seen hug Sara earlier approached and waited for Sara to introduce him, from the resemblance he guessed they must be very close family.

"Grissom," she started, "this is Christopher, my brother, Chris this is Grissom, well Gil actually"

Grissom looked up at the use of his Christian name; he heard it so rarely especially from her and the fact that he could be introduced to him.

"Gil actually, interesting name" Chris said, receiving a punch in the arm for making fun "nice to finally meet you"

"You too" Grissom answered "what do you mean finally?"

"Well, I don't talk to Sara much but when I do, it's Grissom this, Grissom that, she could write a book on you "

Sara blushed at this statement, "I do not" she covered "god you are such a tease"

"You tell yourself that sis" he said putting his arm on her shoulder

"How are they?" Sara asked, leaving Grissom clueless but Chris able to answer

"As well as can be expected" he said sombrely "oh by the way I should warn you, Jack is here and probably less than sober,"

"Great!" Sara said sarcastically, "that's all I need, what did they invite him for"

"Apparently he and Adam were pretty tight"

"Huh" Sara sighed "No wonder this happened then" not bothering to hide her dislike of this Jack character

"Catch you later Sar" he said leaning in and whispering something, Grissom tried to read lips but his view was obstructed, but again something about birthday came up.

Grissom stood awkwardly by the counter not sure he should be sharing this moment between them.

"Grissom" Sara called him "thank you for coming, can you do me a favour?"

"Sure" he answered intrigued **'anything'**

"If you see a blonde guy, approximately 6ft, who doesn't look like any member of my family, goes by the name of Jack, hide me" Sara almost pleaded

"Excuse me?" Grissom stuttered confused

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Sara Sidle," came a voice from behind Grissom

"Too late" Sara whispered "hello Jack" she said forcing a smile

"Its Jonathan now" he corrected her, he'd decided to lose his nick name in an attempt to appear more sophisticated "Jack is so 4 years ago" he said in a mock valley girl accent.

"I see, well Jonathan, I'd say it was good to see you, but we'd both know I was lying through my teeth, so why bother"

"Ooh Sara baby, why the hostility, you loved me at one point" he slurred

'**Baby, I hate that name'**

Grissom's eyes snapped up to Sara's at this, shock and hurt lying there.

'**Why didn't she tell me about him?'**

"Well, I see your selective memory hasn't improved or your drinking for that matter."

"I'll let you know there is nothing wrong with my drinking, I have perfect technique"

"Yeh, shame that's the only place you have it" she mocked, knowing she had gone to far when his fist connected with her face.

Grissom leapt up from his position to protect her but stopped when she pushed him aside. He was left to watch from the sidelines feeling dejected.

Sara wiped her hand across her mouth which was now bleeding "looks like nothing has changed with you Jack, sorry, Jonathan right, and you wonder why I left"

Jack just stood on the opposite of the room, feeling sick, he would have struck her again but he could see the anger in the other mans eyes. Walking past Grissom, Sara headed for the stairs.

Grissom followed shortly after making sure Jack was no-where near her, he found her in the bathroom with a wet cloth against her face.

"Here let me do that" he said coming to set next to her on the floor and gently holding the cloth in place.

"I'm so sorry" she said "you shouldn't have had to see that, it was my own fault though, it always was, I pushed him too far"

"You can't blame yourself because he's an asshole" Grissom said a little harshly

Sara smiled at his concern and leaned into him "Thanks, I think this is okay now" she said moving his hand from her head and standing up. "Better go face the music" she sighed

"I'm here if you need me" Grissom whispered taking her hand as they walked down the stairs

'**What am I doing?'** his mind screamed

'**Finally listening to yourself, go with it,**' he urged himself

Sara led him into the living where their hands separated; both missed the contact but knew it would be inappropriate at a time like this. Across the room Sara saw Chris and gave him a warning stare to leave Jack alone, he hadn't seen the altercation, but she knew he'd recognise the signs appearing on her face, he always did.

"What the hell are you doing here with him?" came an angry voice behind them

"Mum, so nice to see you and you actually spoke this time, I'm honoured" Sara replied

"I can't believe the nerve of you" her mother almost screamed staring intently at Grissom who was looking back at a woman who could easily be Sara's sister not her mother.

Sara saw her aunt becoming increasingly upset by the performance, "Have a little respect" Sara berated her mother "lets take this outside"

TBC


	6. Taking it outside

Chapter 6 – Taking it outside

Slamming the front door, Elizabeth Sidle joined by Sara, Grissom, her husband and son settled on the front lawn.

"You're not welcome here" her mother screamed

"I don't think that's for you to decide" Chris said on Sara's behalf

"Stay out of this" their mother yelled

"Or what, you'll cross me off the Christmas card list, ooh I'm scared" he mocked

"Leave it" Sara and her mother said in unison

Grissom stood at a distance knowing his input would not be welcomed, and watched her father who had said nothing.

"Sara I told you when you sold out and came to Vegas, you were no longer welcome in this family, that means all of it," her mother explained a little more calmly

Unable to hold back any longer Grissom intervened, "she didn't sell out, she works in one of the best labs in the country, she….."

"Look, Mr…. Doctor Grissom, whatever your name is, I'm sure you mean well, and I apologise for my reference to you earlier, I'm sure you must be a nice person, but this is family business"

Sara was shocked at the apology she had just heard and flattered that Grissom had come out of his shell to help her

'**I guess it is only me they hate then'**

"If you hate Vegas so much, why did you come?"

"I put aside my feelings to see your aunt; I couldn't leave her at a time like this" Elizabeth said nobly

"Then why can't you put them aside for me" Sara whispered

"Because you deserve better" her mother said matter of factly "you could have been so much more"

"I can't believe you're still on about that, I don't want to be more than I am Mum, I'm happy… Most of the time, if I'd stayed in San Francisco I'd be miserable and you know it, look what he did to me today, this is nothing compared to then"

Grissom couldn't help but notice the 'most of it comment' knowing he was too blame for the times she wasn't and angry that he couldn't protect her in the past.

"You can hate me and my choices if you want but I am not changing them, not for you not for anyone" Sara stated finally ending the discussion "dad, aren't you going to say anything?" she queried

He looked up at her with brown eyes matching her own and didn't say a word "guess not" Sara sighed walking away.

Walking away Chris caught up to them, "I'm sorry you had to go through that again, I tried to tell them to leave it, especially today, I mean if the funeral wasn't enough for you to go through today, they were."

"Thanks for your help" Sara hugged him "you make sure you visit me before you leave" she called as he walked away

On the way back to the car Grissom was confused by Chris's words, 'if the funeral wasn't enough'

'**What is significant about today that could make that harder?'**

Sara looked across at Grissom as they walked noticing him deep in thought

'**Yeh probably thinking about how screwed up my life is, who can blame him?**

Standing by the car was a solitary figure in black, approaching, Sara could make out that it was her dad.

"Hey" she called

"Hi sweetheart" he answered "I'm sorry about you mother, she means well"

"I know" Sara sighed, "call me when you get back okay, I miss you guys"

"I will" he said hugging her "you take care of her" he said to Grissom who was standing to one side

"Oh no Dad, it's not like that" she corrected him, before Grissom had a heart attack

"Oh too bad, you make a sweet couple" he teased "bye honey, oh and one more thing, happy birthday"

"Thanks Dad, not the best one I've had but what are you gonna do?" she shrugged

Grissom cursed himself for his stupidity, '**of course it's her birthday, how could you forget?'**

'**Cos I always do? You cause a giant rift with her and her family by asking her to come here and you don't even remember her birthday. God damn you!'**

On the car journey to Sara's apartment the atmosphere was tense and eerily quiet

"I'm sorry" Sara began hating the silence

"What for?" Grissom asked shocked, he should be the one apologising

"Inflicting my family on you, they're not always like that, and what happened with Jack that, that….." she rambled

"You don't have to apologise Sara, all families have problems, if anyone should be apologising its me"

"How do you figure that one, you were great, I don't know what I would have done without you there, it helped to have a friend"

"Yeh, a friend that can't even remember your birthday" he said his grip on the steering wheel tightening.

"What? Don't worry about that, I don't expect you to remember."

Grissom looked at Sara, a hurt expression on his face, '**great she expects me to be a crap friend'**

Realising how it sounded Sara continued "what I meant is you're busy, I can't expect you to remind stupid stuff like that"

'**You're not stupid'** he thought

Grissom sighed and looked straight ahead and not a word was spoken for the rest of the journey.

Pulling up outside her apartment at last Sara thanked Grissom again and got out of the car; she started to walk away from the car but turned around, not able to leave Grissom the way he was. Grissom opened his window to ask if she'd left something, and was greeted by Sara kissing his cheek, and smiling at him "Thank you" she breathed and headed to her apartment

Grissom sat in the car stunned at what had happened, it was only a kiss on the cheek she'd give any friend but it meant the world to him. He was upset it taken a family tragedy to kick start things for them but he wasn't sorry they had started.

Sinking on to her sofa Sara smiled, and felt ashamed, her cousin was only just buried and she was thinking about Grissom. '**But he was so great today'**

Feeling exhausted she reached over and turned of the lamp and slept on the sofa, dreaming of the days to come, while Grissom went home and did the same.

TBC


	7. The morning after

Chapter 7 – The morning after

Rising from the sofa Sara stretched, cursing her stupidity for thinking she could sleep on her sofa.

'**There should be a warning on that thing'**

Looking at the clock Sara ran to the shower not realising she had slept so long. Standing under the water some of the pain in back eased away. Sara pulled back the curtain and wiped the mirror, coming face to face with the after effects of the previous day.

'**Great, nice to know he hasn't lost his touch' **she grimaced, touching the bruise on her face **'Well can't do anything about it now' **she thought and headed to get dressed.

Stepping out of her car she took a deep breath and prepared herself for the barrage of questions she knew would be coming her way. Glancing around the parking lot she spotted Grissom's car and smiled remembering how great he was yesterday.

"Jesus Sara" Nick greeted her "what the hell happened to you? Are you okay?"

Hearing her name Grissom came out of his office and was joined by the others as they headed to the break room questioning Sara about the funeral and her face.

Pouring a cup of coffee Sara ran over her cover story one more time.

"I fell asleep on my sofa" she said sharing a knowing glance with Greg

"Well, you should know better" Greg laughed "I thought that thing was going to kill me when I stayed at your place, I don't know why you didn't just let me share with you" he smiled

"Anyway," Sara continued, noticing the upset look at Grissom's face at the innuendo and the fact that Greg had stayed at her place without him being informed, "I could barely walk when I got up and I slipped getting out of the shower"

She looked over at Grissom, hoping the others would believe her story and noticed he was still sulking about Greg.

Noticing her looking at him he realised how hypocritical he was being, he knew Greg and her were friends, she could have who she wanted over **'I have no right to be jealous'**

"Must have hit it pretty hard for the bruising to show already" Catherine said, knowing she was hiding something

Sara just took a sip of coffee and took a seat not wanting to be the centre of attention anymore.

After Grissom had handed the assignments, the group began to leave but stopped remembering something.

"Hey Sara" Warrick said, taking her by the arm and leading her to the evidence room "we got you some stuff for your birthday but thought today would be better to give them to you"

Sara stared at the table filled with colourful boxes and began to tear up, while Grissom silently cursed himself

'**Damn it, she told you yesterday, how could you forget again?'**

"Guys, you didn't have to do this, Thank you" she said opening a box containing, a coffee grinder and a bag of blue Hawaiian coffee and looked at Greg.

"That's strictly for use when I come over, I can't stand your stuff" he smiled

After opening all the presents and sharing thank you's, everyone except Sara stared expectantly at Grissom. Realising he had no gift, Catherine glared at him and changed the subject.

"Well, I guess we'd better get to work" she shared a look with each of the guys signalling they should leave the couple alone.

"I'm sorry" Grissom said to Sara who was packing away her gifts

"What for?" Sara smiled walking closer to him

"I didn't get you anything" he said feeling ashamed

"Not that again" Sara laughed "Grissom I don't care, birthdays were never a big thing in my house. It's not a big deal"

His eyes lifted to hers, and Sara ducked her head self-conscious of her bruise. Noticing this Grissom lifted her chin with his hand and held it there.

"You were pretty good at covering this morning" he said

"Yeh well, that's not the first time I've had to make something up, after you left San Francisco no-one would let me touch anything breakable because I was so 'accident prone'" she smiled

"You should have called me" he said, absent-mindedly caressing her cheek

Sara looked away at this not wanting to answer because she knew it would hurt him, Grissom noticed this and took the hint.

"You did call me, didn't you?" he sighed

"You were busy, triple homicide, Robertson case, I think. I understood you were busy, it's okay"

Grissom thought back to the time she was talking about. The case had been extremely high profile, the sheriff was constantly on his back and he hadn't slept in days. He couldn't handle the distraught Sara that had called him in the middle of the night. Guilt washed over him as he remembered making a feeble excuse that he was needed and hung up the phone.

'**I should have done something'**

"No, it's not okay" he argued "I let you down, seems to be my MO" he said backing away

"No, Grissom" Sara sighed signalling to the distance between, "that s your MO"

Grissom looked at the floor knowing she was right and wanting nothing more than to be able to change it.

"You were really great yesterday; I don't know what I would have done without you." She said echoing her words from the previous day, "I understand you're confused about us or the lack of us, but I'm done chasing you"

Grissom looked at her when she said this, shocked by her being so open

"The next move is yours" she continued "it's up to you whether you take it"

She stood there for what seemed an eternity just staring at him, not aware that Catherine and the others were holding their breath waiting for Grissom's reaction outside the door.

'**Come on Gil, just do it, screw what the others think'**

"Sara" he called as she began to leave "Would you like to go out to breakfast after shift" he asked taking a risk finally

Sara smiled overjoyed, he'd finally joined in the game they'd been playing for years "No" she said, almost hearing Grissom's heart crumble "but I'd love to stay in"

Grissom cocked an eyebrow at the statement but Sara brushed it off "Hey don't get excited" Sara laughed keeping things light "it's only because of this" she explained gesturing to her bruise.

"What time?" Grissom asked, making sure not to waste any

"Straight after shift works for me, you can come to my apartment"

"It's a date" Grissom smiled slipping past her to leave the room; he had a suspect to talk to.


	8. Back to work

Chapter 8 – Back to work

Leaving Brass's office, Grissom couldn't suppress his delight. He'd narrowed down his suspects to just one, Jonathan 'Jack' Thomas. Grissom had never wanted an interrogation so much before in his life, not only did he have the chance to solve his case but the possibility of making up for not helping Sara when she had asked before.

"Hey, earth to Grissom" Brass called. "I know you want to help Sara…….and her family" he added at the look Grissom shot him "but you can't do it out here and Gil, keep it professional"

"I'm surprised you have to say that Jim, I'll be fine, you don't need to worry" he said giving his best Boy Scout look.

'**It's not you I'm worried about'** Brass thought as he opened the door. Grissom hadn't told him that Jack was the real reason behind Sara's bruise but he'd been a cop long enough to figure it out.

The scent of alcohol was noticeable to all as they entered the room but the man standing before them appeared sober.

'**Amazing what potential murder charges can do'** Grissom smirked

"Hey I know you" Jack said, the first to speak

"I find that unlikely" Grissom replied, not believing the nerve of the man in front of him

"Your Sara's new flavour of the month" he laughed coldly

"Excuse me?" Grissom mumbled

"Oh I'm sorry, did I burst your bubble, you didn't think you were here true love did you?" Jack mocked from across the table

'Stay calm' Grissom told himself 'he's doing this on purpose.

Brass shot Grissom a warning look, telling him to move on.

"Not that it's any of you business but Sara and I are just friends" '**barely that most of the time' **Grissom said feeling the need to defend their unusual relationship.

Brass tried hard to hide his amusement at that statement **'just friends my ass'**

"Shall we get started?" came an unknown voice from the table "I'm Ian Petersen, Mr Thomas's lawyer"

"Mr. Thomas" Brass began "I assume you know why you're here ……"

Words couldn't express what Grissom was feeling as the cuffs closed around Jack's wrist, Sara had mentioned his temper but it was his arrogance that gave him up in the end. He couldn't bare being ridiculed, so by way of 'setting them straight' he unknowingly confessed.

'**How could Sara be interested in someone so stupid? Easily, she likes you doesn't she?**' Grissom thought as he watched the officer walk Jack down the corridor who was glaring back at him.

"Are you going to tell Sara, or should I?" Brass asked

"I will" Grissom smiled "can you notify Adam's parents?"

"First name basis Gil?" Brass questioned "I think Sara's rubbing off on you

Grissom didn't answer, self-conscious and confused that he had slipped. Seeing his discomfort Brass felt the need to say something

"I was only joking Gil, everyone's allowed to slip up every now and again, don't worry about it"

"I'm not" he lied as he set off in search of Sara

"So Grissom and Sara going on a date, it's about time" Nick smiled as, Catherine and Warrick saw them talking by her car.

"Got that right" Warrick agreed "You guys want to grab something to eat?"

"Sure" Nick answered

"I'll pass" Catherine said, "Lindsey will be wondering if I've disappeared of the face of the earth if I don't see her soon"

"Okay, see you later" Warrick called as the group leaving Grissom and Sara alone.

"I'm really sorry about your cousin Sara" Grissom offered opening the door for her

"Thanks" she smiled, sliding past him to stand between him and the car door, blushing when he didn't move back. "I can't believe he and Jack were stupid enough to get into drugs, but we've all got to move forward now"

"I hope so" Grissom said moving so she close her door

Rolling down her window to continue the conversation, she said" so you gonna follow me to my place? That is, if you still want to come" she added self-consciously

"Of course I do. Why would I change my mind?"

"Because you're you" she smiled

He shrugged the comment off not wanting to talk himself out of going by over thinking things.

"I just need to stop at my place first but I'll be right over afterwards"

There was no way he was going to turn up at her apartment empty handed, he'd already forgotten her birthday twice in as many days.

'**I've got the perfect gift at home, besides I need to change'**

"Okay" Sara said shutting her door, praying he wouldn't change his mind on the journey home


	9. Entering the unknown life after shift

Chapter 9 – Entering the unknown – life after shift

'**Perfect'** Sara smiled

She'd lit a few candles, it wasn't anything too romantic, she didn't want him to bolt of the door as soon as he arrived, but an atmosphere was required to relax them.

'**It's about time'** she though as she heard a knock on her door

Pulling the door open she found a shy looking Grissom wearing a light blue shirt that really showed off his eyes

"Come in" she said moving from the doorway, "make yourself at home, coffee?"

"Only if it's blue Hawaiian" he joked trying to ease the tension they were both feeling

"Okay, but not a word to Greg, he'll kick my ass if he finds out"

"My lips are sealed" he answered looking around her apartment

'**don't talk about your lips"** Sara screamed to herself, **"I'm likely to jump you if you do"** she couldn't deny how sexy he was looking, no matter how hard she tried.

Her apartment was how he expected to find it, forensic text books arranged alphabetically on the shelf, sparsely decorated. His eyes fell on the infamous police scanner he didn't like her having but he noticed it was dusty hopefully from lack of use.

'**Are those scented candles?'** he mused

"Here you go" she said offering him the cup "you can sit down you know! I don't bite"

'**Shame'** Grissom thought to himself **'Jesus where did that come from? You sound like a hormonal school boy'**

'**So would you if you were here'** he told his annoying innervoice** 'look at her'**

He smiled weakly at her, hoping his thoughts weren't obvious to her "I uh, bought this over for you" he stuttered, suddenly nervous about his choice of gift, "it's not knew or anything, but I thought you might like it" he finished, handing her a box he had been holding closely since his arrival.

Sara unwrapped the package to reveal the most beautiful butterfly she had ever seen, it was blue with white markings that seemed to shine. Grissom sat holding his cup nervously looking at the floor, afraid she wouldn't like it.

"Grissom, this is beautiful" Sara breathed

"It reminds me of you" he smiled, happy she was pleased

Sara looked up at him at this rare compliment '**who are you and what have you done with the real Gil Grissom'** she thought

"Oh yeh," she laughed "cos I look great right now"

Grissom reached out to brush her cheek, "you look beautiful, as always"

"Are you sure you want me to have this? I know how much you love them"

"Not as much as I love you" he blurted out honestly, but mentally kicking himself when he realised.

"What?" Sara gasped

"Nothing" he said not wanting to rush things between them

"You can't say something like that and they say nothing Grissom" Sara said moving closer to stop him from running. "Do you love me?" she asked not going to let him brush this aside with all the other comments.

'**_Honey, since I met you, I need you_, I should have done something then'** she thought

Grissom was shocked by the directness of the question and stood up preparing to run

'**Great, now look what you've done'** Sara cursed herself

"Don't you dare Grissom" she warned grabbing his arm, pushing him closer to the wall "I am not letting you walk away this time"

Grissom knew that he had decided to pursue the relationship; he wouldn't be there if he hadn't, but the 'L' word had scared him. He stared at the floor unable to look at her, knowing he would cave in if he did.

"Do you?" she whispered, her breath sending a chill down his spine and causing him to look into her eyes which had darkened so much they were almost black.

"Yes" he whispered back meekly, knowing that there was no escape

'**Why did I say that? Idiot, what if she doesn't……'**

His musings were cut short as he felt her breath move from his neck to his lips. He looked deep into her eyes and knew that there was no way she didn't feel the same way. Leaning forward, he took his first risk, sealing the moment with a soft kiss. Sara breathed in deeply as they broke the kiss and began to lean in for another when she was stopped by a knock at the door. Both of them jumped and Grissom's hand tightened on the place they had found on Sara's waist.

"Damn it" Sara said under her breath "just give me a sec" she said to a flushed Grissom, who reluctantly released her.

'**God help the person behind that door if this isn't important'**

'**I can't believe I just did that' **Grissom said running his hand through his hair, in a state of shock.

"Chris!" Sara exclaimed as her brothers form emerged in the doorway.

"Hey" he offered reaching out to touch her cheek "you okay?"

"Fine" she answered quickly, pushing him backwards out of the door as he began to walk forwards

'**Is she flushed?'** Chris thought

"You know I love your visits but I'm a little busy right now" she said nervously trying not to be rude

Looking past her into the apartment he spotted Grissom trying to look busy, Chris smiled at him and saw him blush deeply as he realised he had been 'caught in the act' as it were.

"Ah, I see" he smirked "good for you sis, call me tomorrow with all the details."

"As if" Sara said, slapping him playfully "now get gone"

"Oh one more thing, I think mum wants to see you before we leave, Dad talked at her non-stop until she caved in, so except a call"

"Okay, I'm warned, now go before I injure you" she joked, happy that things were looking up at last

"Wow, how long's it been Sar?" he asked the question loaded with innuendo, all he got in return was a mock glare and a door closing in his face

'**Treat her right'** he mentally sent to Grissom as he walked to the elevator

Hearing the door click shut Grissom turned to face Sara feeling awkward and not knowing what to do with himself.

"Now, where we?" Sara asked playfully walking towards him.

Taking hold of her wrist he pulled her towards him and placed his lips over hers gently, a spark going through them both.

"oh yes I remember" Sara laughed kissing him back "I love you too" she whispered into his ear, pushing him down on to the sofa.

"I just want to let you know I take no responsibility for any cramps this sofa may cause you" she giggled against his lips

"I'm officially warned,….. I distinctly remember being lured here under the pretence of breakfast" he joked

"Ah, yeh, about that, I can't actually cook"

"Do you mean to tell me Miss Sidle that you planned this?" he said tickling her in the ribs, causing her to squirm

"Busted" she laughed "but can you prove it"

"Just give me time" he whispered "give me time"


	10. Embracing the unknown

Chapter 10 - Embracing the unknown

Sara awoke to the shrill tone of her cell phone, which wasn't unusual for her, but realised that something definitely wasn't right with the situation.

'**Grissom's still here'** she smiled

After Grissom's revelation the previous day, they had shared kisses and touches but had decided not to rush the situation and settled for breakfast and watching TV, before falling asleep on the couch

"Sidle" she said into the phone

"Sara, honey?" came a voice not usually heard in her home

"Since when am I your honey?" Sara asked, knowing the irony of those words would be lost on her mother, and smiling as she realised she could now ask that to the man with his arms around her.

"I don't want to fight, can you come over later, we need to talk before I leave"

"Okay" replied reluctantly, she knew what ' we need to talk' really meant, - I need to talk and you need to listen. "when?"

"Whenever is good for you, we're around all day, call your brother on his cell phone if you can't find us. Which reminds me, I was calling your house phone for 10 minutes, why didn't you pick up?"

"I was asleep, sorry"

"No problem, sweetheart, I thought you didn't sleep" her mother queried

"things change" Sara said thoughtfully, happy that they did

"I'll stop by when I can, bye"

"Bye, honey"

Sara snapped the phone shut and leaned into Grissom and sighed.

"Something wrong?" he said startling her and tightening his hold

"You're awake" she said turning to face him, realising she was stating the obvious

"I am" he replied, placing his lips on hers, "so everything okay?"

"sure" she replied weakly

"I don't buy that, Sara, what's wrong" he asked concerned, amazing Sara by being so caring, this was a side of him she hadn't seen for a long time.

"My mum wants to meet up with me before she goes home, to patch things up apparently" she explained dispassionately

"I thought that was what you wanted" Grissom said, stroking her hair, hoping he was right and hadn't misread the situation again.

"I am, I'm just not getting my hopes up, I really don't need to be let down again"

Grissom looked away slightly as he realised that could be applied to him as well.

"I promise that'll never happen as far as I'm concerned"

"well, I've been up for five minutes and already this is a better day than I've had in a long time, Jack's where he belongs, I'm here with you and my mum wants to talk to me, how could it be any better" she laughed holding his hand

"I love you" Grissom breathed, kissing her forehead

"that's one way" she giggled "I can't believe this is real, I keep expecting to wake up and find you gone"

"that'll never happen" he reassured her

"Don't make promises you can't keep" Sara added sombrely, sitting up finally realising that Grissom was still a flight risk despite what he had said, simply for the fact that he is Gil Grissom and that's what he does.

'**great, now what have I done?' **Grissom worried

"Sara, I'm not going anywhere"

"maybe not now, but what about when the others find out, or something goes wrong, how do I know you won't run like before?"

"I don't care who knows" he said surprising them both "I love you, I'm not ashamed of that, I'd tell the world if I could"

He turned her to look back at him, and kissed her deeply before she could change her mind about them and kick him out.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, but if you let me, I'll fix everything"

"if that was fixing" Sara started breathless "then by all means carry on"

Grissom obliged and pulled her towards him to kiss her again, but Sara pulled back

"damn," she cried "look at the time" she said showing Grissom her watch, "we have to go"

"let's call in sick!" Grissom said sounding almost serious,

"that's an interesting offer but my boss would kill me!" Sara teased

"he might kill you if you don't" Grissom laughed, for the first time in years he had a reason to stay home and didn't want to let it go

"The guys aren't stupid, Gil, one of us off sick, they might buy, but both of us, no way" Sara said, not realising she had called him by his first name

Grissom just stared at her, happiness filling every part of him

"What?" Sara asked as she stood up, noticing the way he was looking

"you called me Gil" he explained

"Sorry," Sara apologised honestly thinking she had done something wrong

"what?" Grissom asked shocked, " you don't have to be sorry, I wish you'd say it more" he said putting his arms around her

"Okay Gil" she said purposefully "we're going to be late if you don't let go of me, Gil, is that better?"

"perfect" he whispered into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine, "stay home today" he whispered again.

Sara had to use every last bit of will power she could find to say no, when she saw the passion in his eyes, "we can't and you know that" she said determined not to give in "don't even give me that look" she commanded as her turned his blue eyes on her, silently begging.

"okay, who are you and where is the real Gil Grissom?" she laughed echoing her thoughts from the previous night, walking towards her bedroom to change, not realising that Grissom was following her.

"just where he wants to be" he said stopping at the door, not wanting to cross any boundaries he shouldn't "with you"

"sweet talker" Sara added walking towards and taking his hand, "you can come in you know!"

As soon as she said that she knew it was a mistake, she turned around and he put his arms around her, kissing her neck causing her to breath in deeply, he ran his hands across her arms to her waist and turned her to face him.

"okay you win" she sighed tired of trying to resist

" I like winning" he said kissing her softly and pushing her gently towards the bed so she could change her mind whenever she wanted. Sara sat on the bed and reached for the phone, dialling Catherine's number, Grissom sat next to her and started running his hands across her back.

"Hey Catherine, it's Sara"

"Hey Girl, how are you?"

"Not great actually" Sara said pretending to sound sick "I think I ate something that didn't agree with me, I feel awful" Sara leaned her head back as Grissom kissed her neck, feeling guilty for lying, but not feeling too bad about it.

"Could you tell Grissom for me?" she asked, Grissom looked up at her at the mention of his name, smiling a wicked grin before pushing her towards the pillows.

"Sure thing" Catherine answered

"T…Thanks" Sara faltered as Grissom put his hands on her waist, she shot him a fake glare, if he carried on like that he was going to give them away

"So how'd it go last night?" Catherine asked,

"How'd what go?" Sara asked feigning ignorance and looking at Grissom as they realised that people knew he had come over.

"Didn't Grissom come over for breakfast?"

"oh that, yeh it was okay, we talked about the case mostly, you know Grissom it's always work, work, work" Grissom stopped kissing her as mentally kicked himself for the way he used to treat her. Sara looked at him to let him know all was forgiven and he carried on.

"sorry, I'll talk to him if you want"

"Like it'll do any good" Sara said continuing the façade, "anyway I'm kind of tired, I'm going to go to bed"

"Okay, feel better" Catherine added before putting down the phone and smiling, she knew a fake sick call when she heard one, "good for you Sara" she laughed

"Sara Sidle" Grissom said in fake shock kissing her lips "you shameless liar!"

"What? Some of it was true. " she smiled

"Like what?"

"I'm going to bed aren't I. And you can never be by me when I'm on the phone again?"

Grissom just looked at her wide eyed, not knowing what to say so he settled for kissing her instead.

"you know Catherine didn't buy that right" Sara asked breathlessly as Grissom hands moved to the buttons on her shirt.

"I can live with that" he smiled, kissing her chest and revelling in the site of her, amazed that he was finally allowed to do this.

"Aren't you going to call someone" Sara asked barely able to form the words or focus on anything other than what he was doing to her, as her hands moved to his waist making him breath in sharply at her touch.

"No, I'm the boss, no-one asks me questions, besides I'll just be distant and reclusive if anyone does, it's worked up until now" he said half serious

Sara laughed knowing how true that was, she'd been on the receiving end of it enough times.

"God I love you?" he sighed breathlessly, moving his hands to her belt, all thoughts of going slow gone from both of their minds.

"Someone's going to say something you know? What if Ecklie finds out or Cavallo?" she asked, although lust was evident in her voice rather than worry as she pushed his shirt over his shoulders, unable to believe this was happening.

Grissom looked up at this, he hadn't thought of that, to be honest it did worry him, but he wasn't going to think about it now, nothing would ruin this for them.

"Ssshhh" he said putting a finger on her lips "no more words"

Sara complied and leaned up to kiss him, not sure where this version of Grissom had come from but liking it far more than the previous model. Reaching over to the bedside table she took the phone off the hook and threw her cell phone somewhere where she couldn't find it, now that this moment had come she wouldn't let anything ruin it. Grissom just looked down at her and smiled as he ran his hand across her stomach.

'I just hope no-one finds the spare key' Sara laughed to herself


	11. At the office

Chapter 11 - At the office

Walking into the break room the next morning Sara was unable to hide her smile, she had never been so happy.

"Hey Guys," she said hoping it wasn't too obvious where she had been the previous day

"Hey Sara" Nick answered, "feeling better?"

"Much, thanks" which wasn't a complete lie, since Grissom had come over, she felt better than she had in a long time

""You seen Grissom this morning?" Warrick asked

"No" she lied trying to hide her blush at his name "why?"

"He disappeared yesterday too, just wondered if he was back" he explained, a slight grin on his face as though he knew something wasn't right

"If who's back?" came Grissom's voice from the doorway

"The wanderer returns" Catherine added "where'd you disappear to yesterday?" she asked, although she had a pretty good idea

"nowhere" he answered in his normal manner that didn't give anything away, purposefully avoiding Sara's gaze, shocking her, as when he left her apartment he seemed fine.

"Right" Nick sighed seeing that Grissom's avoidance of Sara had upset her.

'**I knew we never should have done anything he's avoiding me again'**

"So" Sara said coldly, wanting to move on "what have we got today?"

Grissom was shocked my her tone, **'what have I done? Maybe she regrets it?' **"Catherine, you, Warrick and Nick have a B and E at the Monaco, Sara, you and I have a DB at a convenience store"

"I'll drive" Sara said quietly as she took the slip of paper from his hand, **'if he can't even look at me, why does he want to work with me, I don't get him'**

Catherine noticed this exchange and realised that something bad was going on and followed Sara out and quietly whispered, "I'm sorry"

"What for?" Sara pretended not to understand

"Sara" Catherine said not falling for her act

"Thanks, you didn't tell the guys about yesterday did you"

"No, but they're not stupid, they have their suspicions I can't believe he's doing this again"

Sara just walked away silently not able to find the words.

Grissom and the others exited the break room as Sara walked away.

"You coming Cath?" Warrick asked

"Sure, I just need to get something, I'll meet you by the car" Nick and Warrick walked away knowing that Catherine was going to talk to or rather at Grissom about his behaviour.

Turning she glared at Grissom, who looked back at her cluelessly.

"How could you?" was all she said

"How could I what?" he asked, staring in the direction Sara had walked in,

"Don't play dumb Grissom, if you weren't serious about Sara, why put her through this?"

Grissom blushed slightly at the realisation that Catherine knew what had happened between them,

"I am serious Cath, I love her, she's the one that wouldn't talk to me"

Catherine was shocked at this public confession, she knew he had feelings for her but didn't know it was love.

"only because you wouldn't look at her, she must have thought you were ashamed or something, she probably feels like crap right now"

Grissom closed his eyes and mouthed 'damn', when he realised what he'd done,

"I'm not ashamed, I could never be"

"then why blank her the way you did?" Catherine asked confused

"I….. I ……"

"fix it Gil," was the last thing Catherine said before walking to the car, leaving Grissom to think about what he was going to do.

"I called Brass" Sara said emotionless as Grissom got in the car, "he'll meet us there"

"Sara I need to talk to you" was his answer

"What is there to say" she asked as she went to start the car, but stopped by Grissom's hand taking hers.

"I love you, I'm sorry, Please forgive me, pick anyone of those"

"They're just words Grissom" Sara replied, not realising how close that was to what Lady Heather had said to him once, he hadn't answered then but he would now.

"No Sara, they're not"

"Really, then why did you ignore this morning, if you love me, why couldn't you look at me?"

"Because I'm so used to not looking at you because if I did I wouldn't be able to stay away from you, I did it out of habit, I didn't mean to hurt you, it'll never happen again, I promise"

Sara smiled slightly at his apology knowing that he meant it by the look in his eyes, "okay, we should probably get going"

"yeh, one more thing though" he added as he leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

"What are you doing?" Sara asked shocked "someone might see us"

"I don't care Sara" he replied and kissed her again, this time getting kissed back, not realising that Nick, Catherine and Warrick could see what was going on as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"About damn time" Warrick smiled turning the steering wheel.

"I guess we know where Grissom was yesterday" Nick laughed.

TBC


	12. Secrets out

Chapter 12 - Secret's out

"You're sure you don't want me to come with you?" Grissom asked from across the coffee table, absentmindedly twirling his spoon.

"I don't think that would be a good idea but thanks anyway" Sara smiled, since their talk in the car, neither of them had been trying to hide that there was something between them but they weren't flaunting it either.

"You want me to come over later? Grissom asked somewhat cautiously unsure whether she would want him to stay over again so soon

"I don't know how long I'll be, how about I stop by yours if it's not too late, if that's okay with you" she added not wanting to be too imposing.

"I'd like that" he smiled "this is nice" he added

"What is?"

"Sitting her, talking to you without having to worry anymore," he explained

"You really don't care who knows" Sara queried

Instead of answering, Grissom rose from his seat and kissed her, resulting in hushed whispers from outside the door as the lab techs caught site of them

"Guess not" Sara smiled, kissing him again as Ecklie walked by

"well, look what we have here!! I can't wait until Cavallo finds out." Ecklie said smugly

"Screw you Conrad" Grissom snapped, causing both Ecklie and Sara to look at him surprised at the harsh words he had used

"Isn't that Sara's job" Ecklie retorted.

Grissom walked past Sara and lunged at Ecklie pushing him again the wall. "don't ever say anything like that again, Sara earned everything she has"

"Lets hope she doesn't find any skeletons in the closet" Ecklie laughed thinking he was hilarious

"Funny you should mention finding skeletons, Ecklie, because you certainly don't seem to be able to" Sara grinned

Grissom turned to look at Sara and couldn't hide is smile, "you're not the only one that can make wisecracks Ecklie, now run along like a nice little boy, I'm sure you have plenty of unsolved cases waiting for you"

Ecklie couldn't speak, no-one had ever made him feel so stupid, so he looked once more at Grissom and left the room, where Sara sat with a huge grin on her face.

"Sara, I'm so sorry" Grissom apologised

"What for?" she questioned confused

"For what he said, I can't believe he would imply that"

Sara laughed and said "Griss, people have been saying that ever since I got here, let them think what they want, it doesn't bother me"

"People have thought you've been sleeping with me all the time you've been here?" Grissom asked shocked that people could be so callous

"yeh, at least now it's true" she smiled cheekily, "anyway I better get back to work, I wouldn't want them to start any new rumours without me" she smiled kissing his cheek

"I'll see you later" he whispered putting his hands on her waist

"you better" she smiled as she left the room, walking past Catherine and the guys

"So spill!" Catherine smiled as she poured her coffee

"Sorry" Grissom asked

"we know you were playing hookey yesterday Griss" Nick smiled

"I have no idea what you're talking about" he smiled

"sure" Warrick said not convinced "don't worry we'll just ask Greg, he knows everything around this place"

"You do that" Grissom laughed as he left the same way Sara had, glad that the others were accepting it well.

Grissom looked up from his desk to see Sara standing in the doorway as she always did.

"You can come in you know, I don't bite" he said repeating her words from the night before

"I wouldn't be too sure about that" Sara laughed "I have some bruises that could prove otherwise" she added as she shut the door

"Really?" Grissom asked standing up to hug her "sorry,"

"No problem" she smiled leaning into him "god I've been waiting for this all day"

Grissom pushed her back against the door so she couldn't move and held her wrists in the same way he had during a case once, hoping Sara would understand, seeing her smile, he could tell that she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I can't believe you asked me to 'pin you down'" he said kissing her neck

"I can't believe you did" she smiled "well, you did 'tape me up', I guess it was the next logical step"

He captured her lips with his and put his hands on her waist as she ran her hands through her curls.

"okay, we need to stop right now" Sara whispered huskily "we're in your office, at work, I can't imagine how many rules we're breaking right now."

Knowing she was right, Grissom stepped back reluctantly and sat in his chair while she stayed by the door.

"Okay, so what did you want?" he asked professionally, but his thoughts were far from professional

"I was going to ask if I could leave early to see my parents, the sooner I get this over with the better"

"sure" he smiled as someone knocked on the door

"come in" he called as Sara stepped to the side.

"oh sorry, am I interrupting something" Catherine asked

"No, I was just leaving, my parents 'want to talk'" she said, Grissom was confused that Catherine knew what she was talking about.

"Good luck" Catherine smiled

'**Catherine knew before me?'**

"Gil, I'll see you later" Sara said, Catherine turned to face Grissom and mouthed the word 'Gil' with a smile on her face, but he barely noticed as Sara was signing 'I love you' behind her. He smiled and signed back leaving Catherine in the dark as Sara walked away.

"wow, it's pretty serious between you isn't it, I'm glad you worked things out"

"me too"

"So what can I do for you?" he asked

"Greg needs to talk to you about your evidence, he's been paging you for 15 minutes, he's starting to freak out"

"I must have left my pager in the break room" he said as he followed Catherine out of the door "Hey Cath" he started

"Yeh"

"did you know about Sara and her parents before I did?"

"Gil honey, everyone knew before you did!" she smiled, surprised that he was truly that clueless

"How?" he asked genuinely confused

"Because they paid attention " she said matter of factly "the past doesn't matter now" she added at the sorrowful look on his face "I don't know what you and Sara were signing to each other back there, but I don't need to be able to sign to see that you two are made for each other"

Grissom smiled at the compliment "Thanks Cath"

"No problem"

"So Greg," Grissom said as he entered the room "what have you got for me?"

TBC


	13. Family reunion take 2

Chapter 13 - Family reunion - take 2

"I'm looking for Mr. and Mrs.Sidle" Sara told the receptionist, "they're expecting me"

The receptionist tapped a few keys to verify Sara's story "they're in room 417, if you take the elevator to the left, it'll take you there"

"thank you" Sara smiled, bracing herself for what was to come

Pressing the number in the elevator, Sara let her mind wander back to Grissom and she couldn't help a smile forming on her face.

"Excuse me" Sara said to the room service attendant as she left the elevator, "I'm looking for 417"

"it's just around the corner miss" he replied politely

"Thank you" Sara answered, thinking that he was pretty cute "I always get lost in these places"

'**okay just knock on the doo**r' Sara told herself

"Hey Sis" Chris said as he opened the door, "welcome to our humble abode"

"Humble?" Sara said astonished " the living room is bigger than my entire apartment, how can you guys afford this?"

"Sara?" came her father's voice from the kitchen, "It's great to see you!"

"You too Dad" she smiled as she hugged him, releasing her he pushed her back gently so he could see her face, the bruise was only just visible now

"I'm glad that boy finally got what he deserved"

"Where's mum?" Sara asked not wanting to talk about Jack, he always caused an argument about her awful choice in men, thank god they didn't know about Hank.

"Right here honey" came another voice,

Sara turned to face her mother and stood still not sure whether to hug her or run a mile, "come here sweetie" she said walking towards her and pulling her into an embrace "I'm sorry about how I acted before, I just want you to have the best, but know I understand that whatever makes you happy _is_ the best."

Sara stood back in shock, looking at her mother as though to check that it was actually her and not a pod person. When finally convinced and the shock had worn off, she smiled and hugged her again.

"Thank you" she whispered.

"Coffee?!" Chris asked

"Sure" everyone said at once

Sara sat on the sofa and was amazed at the luxury of the hotel room, "this place isn't a bad choice Mum, It's definitely one of the nicer places in Vegas, I should know"

"I can't begin to imagine what you must have to go through here, I wish you didn't have to be alone" her Dad said softly

"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about her being alone" Chris teased

"What are you talking about?" their mother asked,

"Christopher Sidle, you are so dead" Sara exclaimed knowing she wouldn't be allowed to leave until her mother knew every detail. Sara smiled as she realised that in a lot of ways she was very similar to Catherine.

"You know Gil Grissom, the person you yelled at, at the funeral?" Sara started cautiously, pausing giving her mother time to scream if she wanted to

"Yes" she replied

"Well, we're kind of dating" Sara said hoping her mother would approve

"Oh" was all the reply she got

"Oh?" Sara echoed

"If I'd known I wouldn't have been so rude, I never thought I'd see him again, will you apologise for me?"

Sara couldn't help but smile at the change in her mother and was sad that she would be leaving soon.

"So you guys gonna get married" Chris joked

"What?" Sara said almost choking on her coffee

"I was kidding, relax" he laughed

"Ha, ha, very funny, don't you say that around Grissom, he'll have a heart attack" Sara said sarcastically

"Okay, I promise" Chris smiled glad that everyone had made up at last.

When all the coffee had been drunk and the apologies made, several hours had passed.

"You know what guys, I better get going, let you get some rest before your flight," Sara said standing up.

"We'll see you again soon, you make sure to keep in touch okay" her Dad said

"I will" Sara said as she opened the door "bye"

Closing the door Sara leaned against it and sighed **'that went a lot better than I thought'**

**TBC**


	14. A new homw

Chapter 14 - A new home

Knocking on his door Sara wondered if she was doing the right thing, he had said he'd like her to come over, but that was when he was awake, he may not be so obliging after she had woken him up.

"Hey" he said sleepily as he opened the door "come in"

Sara looked up at him, his was hair ruffled from sleep and his blue eyes looked tired but he still looked as sexy as ever.

"I'm sorry," she said from the doorway "I shouldn't have woken you, I'll leave"

Grissom took her am as she started to walk away and pulled her inside before she could go.

"You're not going anywhere, Miss Sidle" he whispered as he kissed her neck and put his arms around her.

"Well, when you put it that way Dr. Grissom, how can a girl refuse?" she smiled as her led her to the bedroom

Grissom awoke the next morning with his arms around Sara, her scent surrounding him. He shifted his waist so that he could face her, and kissed her forehead. Sara's eyes fluttered open and she smiled widely.

"Morning" he said stroking her hair, "Sara, can I ask you something?"

"Sure" she answered sleepily.

"Feel free to say no, if you want to , I mean I don't want to pressure you"

"Grissom," she interrupted him "would you just ask the question already?"

"Right, what I wanted to ask was, um, would you like to move in here… with me?"

'**why did you ask that so soon? You're going to scare her away'**

Sara's eyes shot open and Grissom could see the shock in them at such a forward question

"I'm sorry," he started "it's too soon, I shouldn't have asked"

Sara stopped his rambling by kissing him, "I would love to move in with you, if you're sure that is"

"I've never been more sure about anything else" he smiled kissing her back "I love you and I want to be with you all the time"

"I know how you feel" she said leaning into him as he put his arms around herm, "I wish we could call in sick again today" Sara joked

"I don't think they'd buy it this time honey"

"Shame"

"So how'd it go yesterday" he asked

"Perfectly, my mum apologises for how she talked to you as well, be honoured it doesn't happen often"

"I'll treasure it, and you forever"

"Gil, Sara, can I talk to you both please" came Cavallo's voice from the break room doorway

"Sure" Grissom answered looking at Sara as they walked to his office.

'**This can't be good' **Sara sighed to herself causing Grissom to look at her and put his arm around her and smile.

"Don't worry" he mouthed

"it's come to my attention that the two of you are in a relationship" Cavallo started

"that's right" Grissom answered calmly, only of a hint of nervousness in his voice, "is there a problem?"

"not as far as I'm concerned but I've been asked to remind you that about inappropriate behaviour in the work place, so consider yourself reminded" he smiled

"thanks" Sara smiled as he walked away

"come on" Grissom said kissing her "shifts over lets go home"

"home" Sara repeated "I like the sound of that"

For the first time in her life Sara wasn't scared by that word and she didn't have to worry about things ever being too close to home again because she knew that she would have Grissom to help her through whatever life threw at them

FIN


End file.
